Exhibitionist or Voyeur

My Dear MTL Kitchen Diary,

I really don't know how to compete with all the other food blogs out there. They all look so pretty and polished. 

Their beautiful pictures capturing the mouth-watering moments before the first bite. I thought about doing that too. I have a camera and I have tried. But the thought of the hot, ready-to-be eaten dishes I prepare each night staring back at me on the other side of the camera lens breaks my heart. Night after night each dish begs to be eaten before it loses their temp* (temperature/temperament). Each of them questioning why my greasy hands are grabbing the camera and when I can truly experience their scent, taste and texture. They each question my motive... Am I a foodie who act on her gastronomic pleasures? Or am I a foodie who likes to look, a voyeur, a food pornographer?

I have tried out different positions. After three plus years in my relationship with the kitchen and all the heat and indulgences we've allowed each other, we've both agreed our playground does not have room for the camera. It is clear the old adage "Two is company, but three's a crowd" definitely rings true for us. But how can I be an exhibitionist if I don't document it and show my gastronomic deeds to the world? In this case, it seems like one cannot be an exhibitionist without being a voyeur, and vice versa.

Two years ago, my own food porn addiction have led me to take action, testing recipes and playing with food. Understanding taking sexy food pictures isn't my style, I began to keep a notebook of all my gastronomic escapades. Initially, these were detailed accounts of what I did to each ingredient I bring into the kitchen. I soon realized I am a very different kind of player. I write recipes but I question the traditional way of expressing them. Sometimes it isn't much about what I do or which order, but I focus on the colours and energy that will end up on our plates when different ingredients are combined.

It's been the multitude of hues, textures, combinations of ingredients I describe in my notebook that keeps my gastrorgasm coming over and over and over again. While the pictures are important, the food porn I see on other blogs are only foreplay before I work my magic in the kitchen. In such case, maybe I've been wrong all along. But if I don't take pictures like everyone else, what is my game then?

xo
slice/chop